Stranger wrote: ↑2 months ago
It doesn't take a hero to shoo a fly and it doesn't take a hero to know a small fry when they see and here one like yourself.
You try to be peaceful out of one side of your mouth, and yet you continue to drop belittling and unjustified insults out of the other. You're the type of person to punch someone in the nose and then get upset and victim blame when they complain about what you did them
According to and out of your own lips you're telling me your prayers are not being heard, but that's no big surprise.
It's not that my prayers aren't being heard, it's that they're being answered... in the revealing of who and what you are.
In my previous prayers I humbled myself to the opinion that I was possibly wrong about you and was misjudging you or misunderstanding. I requested for the truth about you come to me, and to see goodness in you revealed to me if it was there, and to have peace and genuine understanding despite any differences of theological opinions and that I strive to see the good over the bad.
I also prayed that if I was right about my negative observations, that you become a better person and become aware of your own flaws, if you were willing or able to. And I prayed for whatever evil possessing you to be lifted. But if you say my prayers are not answered in regard to this, your words not mine.... and it demonstrates my prayers are indeed answered, but the outcome is not good on your account.
There is no failure on my part other than my struggles to remain patient with you, in which I continually pray for calmness to be able to deal with a person such as yourself with clarity. I am at times upset at the moments I lose myself to the anger sparked in me at what I feel is unjustice at your hand. I admit I must work on better "turning the other cheek" and not responding in kind with situations like these, and I've been doing that for the last few months and just leaving things alone, but there comes a time where something just has to be said. I'm not proud of anything I've said where I've become struck by my annoyances and frustrations and giving into the mindless spiral or back and forth debates, but at the same time, I hold to the fact that my feelings in this scenario have been justified.
But ultimately This is all about you at the end of the day. I have never shied away from "just" criticism that anyone might have to share about me, or about my opinions. But yours are not just, they are slander, from the delusions of your own mind and inner insecurities, which you are unable to solidify with true evidence, other than taking my words out of context, combined with unsupported assertions.
If you really tried to make peace Proz you could have told me the same thing I told you but like I said it's not in you because you are the fake one here and you just proved it again with your post.
Again you're twisting the situation and are victim blaming, you're not seeking peace, you never were, YOU started this argument, for NO reason, you're not after peace, you don't have any genuine love for me, you're just looking to win and make yourself look good because you're displayed yourself to be a judgemental, selfish,accusatory, manipulating individual. And because you're on the backfoot, you're trying to make yourself look like a persecuted saint now... but this whole conversation is recorded for all to read, anyone can examine it from the start to see what has happened here.
The reason I didn't say the same thing back, is because I see thought your charade. You're trying to turn the situation around and make me admit to some kind of guilt or mistake, when I haven't made one. My public criticism of you is
justified. And you do not have my forgiveness until you publicly renounce the claims you've made about me and genuinly repent of your baseless insults, or, you just leave me alone. Either is acceptable.
I will not accept some fake display of love as you've done here, which is made blatantly obvious by your attitude. You will NOT dominate this conversation, you will NOT manipulate this to your advantage. You will NOT make yourself look to be the martyr here.
I see you for what you are now, Stranger, it's come into the full light of day, I have been granted insight, and it's for this reason I am not falling for your tricks and manipulation tactics. What you spin on others, is ultimately a reflection of your innerself.
What you 'want', is for me to give in to your false displays of love and humility (which are coupled with simultaneous insults and false accusations, proving that your display is a facade). You want me tell you "I still love you too" to "meet you on the other end" (of which there was no olive branch in the first place put out by you, but only self righteousness and insults), despite what you've been doing to me, and what you continue to do, and that I accept the way you've treated me, whilst absolving you of any responsibility for your actions, but I'm sorry it doesn't work like that. Christ doesn't work like that, God doesn't work like that.
The moment I give in to you, give you what 'you' want in this scenario, it will feed your ego, your need to be respected, approved, obeyed, to be correct, to never have to absolve yourself of the things you've done or take responsibility or true acknowledgement. You claim ME to be the liar who doesn'treally want peace, but in reality, the only "peace" you accept by definition, is giving into your antics and bullying.
You want to try and make me look to be the one in the wrong, when I have been the one to seek peace all this time and promote understanding even with differences of opinion throughout the time I've been on this website for over a year (and people can freely do their own investigation and research into my words and character), whilst YOU, on the other hand, only seek peace on "your terms", those terms are surrender to your way of things, your opinions, your "superiority". And do you know why?
I will show you what you are.... and for everyone else to draw the connections too.
https://abusewarrior.com/abuse/manipulation-tactics/
1. Lying
A lie is a false statement deliberately presented as the truth. Some manipulators will say anything to get what they want.
2. Insinuating Comments
The manipulator knows the victim’s weaknesses and buttons.
They purposely push and pull on these to get a reaction. Often they will speak with double entendres or innuendos to confuse and hurt the victim simultaneously while maintaining plausible deniability of any hurtful intention.
The goal is to drain the victim emotionally, wear them down, and to feed the manipulator’s ego or sense of power/control.
3. Discourage and Criticize
The criticism is not for negative behaviors but rather to discourage positive outlets the victim may have to express themselves.
Any attempts to join a social club, team, or organization will be discouraged, undermined, or sabotaged by the manipulator. Any attempts to be creative artistically, musically, or otherwise will be criticized and the victim’s work belittled.
The goal is to crush the victim’s self-esteem and isolate the person from anything which might garnish him or her praise or attention from others.
4. Diminish and Dismiss
The victim’s ideas, opinions, or cries for help, are either verbally or non-verbally (eye-roll, smug smile, scoffs, etc.) diminished, dismissed, overlooked, undervalued, or simply ignored.
6. Intrude and Interrupt
The manipulator has no respect for another person’s boundaries, they will say and do whatever they please in front of, behind the back of, or towards their victims, regardless of objections or morals.
If done covertly the victim will have no idea what damage has been done until it’s too late. The goal of this manipulation tactic is to cut the victim off from speaking up, gaining support, or making positive changes, either for themselves or the people around them. (Also known as enmeshment.)
7. Deflection, Diversion, and Evasion
When the manipulator is asked a direct question or called out on a lie, they will either deflect the conversation back onto the victim, “How dare you accuse me of that!” or they will steer the conversation onto another topic as a diversion, or will give an irrelevant, vague, and meaningless response instead.
The goal is to create confusion, throw the victim off balance, and avoid any responsibility for their actions.
8. Amplification
The manipulator will shout out your failures and whisper your successes. Any limelight the victim deserves will be diminished.
Their accomplishments will go unnoticed and their shortcomings will be broadcast far and wide. The goal is to drain the victim of the energy to be successful, to make them doubt themselves, so that the manipulator can be the center of attention at all times while belittling the victim.
9. Emotional Blackmail
Knowing that someone close to them wants love, approval or confirmation of identity, and self-esteem, manipulators will threaten to withhold the emotional support the victim desires or needs, or even take it away altogether, making the person feel that he or she must meet the demands of the manipulator.
The goal of this manipulation tactic is to ensure that the victim feels afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way, or guilty if they resist.
10. Emotional Barriers
Whenever the victim gets upset and question the manipulator or complains about something they’re doing, the manipulator turn the focus on the victim’s angry or upset state.
The manipulator becomes demeaning about the victim’s objection to his or her poor treatment. The victim could also be attacked for being happy about something.
The goal of this manipulation tactic is to frustrate and suppress the victim’s emotions in order to dodge the blame for wrongdoing or maintain control of them (corral).
Manipulation Tactics
11. Guilt Trip
A special kind of intimidation tactic.
A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish, has more than they deserve, or got it too easy, regardless of how much or little the victim actually does or not, or what the manipulator has ever contributed.
12. Inappropriate Restrictions
A person has the right to be taken seriously, to develop their potential, explore and express their interests, and to find meaning and fulfillment in their relationships and lives.
The manipulator will engage in ongoing behaviors that inappropriately restrict the victim’s life. The goal is to hold him or her back from success, happiness, or anything else the manipulator does not deem the victim worthy of.
13. Threats
Rarely in the physical form, but more usually they are cognitive and social in nature. One of the biggest such threats is that of social exclusion, which affects our need to belong to a family, lover, etc.
15. Shaming
Shame is an extremely painful state to be in and is a very powerful weapon.
The manipulator loves to humiliate their victims frequently with put-downs, expressions of disgust, contempt, disappointment, etc, often while in the presence of others.
The goal of this manipulation tactic is to make the victim feel worthless and inadequate, or at least appear that way, in order to subdue them into submission.This can create a “vicious cycle” in the victim’s mind of negative feelings or thoughts that recur throughout their life.
16. Blaming
The victim is held responsible for the harm they suffered. The victim brought it all upon themselves and the manipulator is in no way responsible for their actions.
The victim made all the choices which brought them trouble or pain regardless of how much they were manipulated into doing so.
The goal is to put the victim on the defense which makes them look and feel guilty while simultaneously masking the manipulator’s malicious intentions.
17. Invalidation
Whatever pain the manipulator has put you through either didn’t happen or wasn’t as bad as it seemed.
23. Gaslighting
Is a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity.
Typically this undermines the victims support group carried out by a combination of other tactics synthesized into a large scale attack on said victim.
24. Rationalization
The manipulator justifies and makes excuses for their behavior. They create false reasons or fake angles which make their actions seem more understandable, acceptable, and appropriate through the use of spin.
This is often done around others, behind the back of the victim. The manipulator may have a different rationalization depending on the type of people they are talking to at the time.
The goal of this manipulation tactic is to get the victim off the manipulators case so they can continue doing whatever they feel they are entitled to do while suggesting the victim is dumb, too inexperienced, or otherwise doesn’t understand the manipulator properly.
25. Infantilize
The manipulator does not acknowledge their victims maturity either emotionally or psychologically.
The victim is treated as if they have no knowledge of life or experience dealing with life’s challenges.
The goal is to reduce a person to that of an infant or child, lowering their status in the social order, and stripping them of the ability to make choices, both in the victim’s mind and the manipulator’s.
26. Splitting
Also called black and white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking.
It’s the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. This is exemplified in a family who has both a golden-child and scapegoat.
The golden-child can do no wrong and the scapegoat is a complete burden and failure as a person.
The manipulator does this as an attempt to stabilize their sense of self-esteem, by perceiving themselves as purely upright, admirable, or superior and others who do not conform to their will or values as purely wicked or contemptible.
26. Double Blind
In the manipulator’s eyes the victim is damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Regardless of which choice is picked the manipulator will always point out that the person should have picked the other.
27. Double-Mindedness
The manipulator seeks the double advantage of being able to do wrong, of being able to have their will, of letting their passions rage, and the hypocritical advantage of seeming to be good, helpful, or supportive.
In short, double-mindedness is to say one thing and do another, to do unto others what they are not willing to be be done unto them.
28. Doublethink
To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancel each other out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them.
To use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it is needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself.
29. Covert Aggressive Abuse
Insults are disguised as teaching, helping, giving advice, and offering solutions. The manipulator makes them appear as a sincere attempt to help, especially to others.
This can also be followed by put-downs, and disappointment from the manipulator and anyone else who they have convinced of the victim’s inferiority.
The goal of this manipulation tactic is to belittle, control, and demean the victim while covering up the appearance of wrongdoing on the manipulators behalf.
manipulation tactic
33. Vilifying the Victim
More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator, while the manipulator falsely accuses the victim as being an abuser in response when the victim stands up for or defends themselves or their position.
34. Playing the Victim Role
The manipulator portrays him or herself as a victim of circumstance, that their behavior is only because of someone else’s, or was the only way to handle the situation they accidentally found themselves in at the time.
The manipulator was “taken for a ride” by the person or people that are being manipulated.
The goal of this manipulation tactic is to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby escaping any blame for wrongdoing or even getting support and cooperation from unsuspecting outsiders.
35. Minimization
This is denial coupled with gaslighting.
The manipulator asserts that their behavior isn’t really as harmful or irresponsible as someone else may be claiming. Often times down playing the behavior by comparing it to others, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone,” or such logic may be present.
The goal is to make a molehill out of a mountain, thus letting the manipulator continue the abusive behavior, or at least escape much of the guilt.
40. Scapegoating
Manipulator subjects the “whipping boy” to constant negative treatment and blame they don’t deserve. Manipulators unconsciously project their own unwanted feelings and problems onto the victim.
The punishment which the scapegoat has to endure is a direct projection of the manipulator’s own insecurities.
Scapegoating is a deliberate act of torment against another person for the cathartic pleasure of the manipulator and their cohorts.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/ ... narcissism
1.Superiority and entitlement
2.Exaggerated need for attention and validation
4.Great need for control
6.Lack of boundaries
7.Lack of empathy
8.Perceiving everything as a threat
9.Emotional reasoning
11.Fear of rejection and ridicule
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con ... c-20366662
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:
Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Be envious of others and believe others envy them
Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:
Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment
Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
I have highlighted all the things I have observed about you in our conversations, and I have no doubt your next reply will further demonstrate it even more in one way or another.
Everyone who reads this thread, and the history of our characters on this platform will be able to make their own observations of who is who in this situation. I leave that to the judges and observers for examination.
