Too few brothers

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Posts: 4
Joined: 1 year ago

Re: Too few brothers

#11 Post by ChetA » 1 year ago

I just found this topic and it is one that hits close to home. Years ago, I married a sister whom, from all outward appearances, was an upstanding example in the congregation. Three days into our marriage, she became quite a different person and almost instantly, I realized that I was in big trouble. Two weeks in, she confessed to having an alcohol problem that she had concealed. Later on, I found out that she had committed fornication repeatedly. I was aware that she had been reproved for fornication once, some years back, but later, after we were legally divorced, it came out that she had been confessing fornication to her favorite elder and he was not reporting it to the body. During the time I was married to her, this elder made my life a living hell, probably because he feared that I would learn the truth of the matter and expose him.

This started a very dark chapter in my life. I came out of it with symptoms of PTSD and spent decades recovering. I thank the Sovereign LORD for seeing me through. But the pain of it all cannot be verbally expressed. There was absolutely no compassion shown me and it was much like the words quoted above; “Come on, forget it. It’s only your wife”.

No, it wasn’t “only my wife”, whom I had accepted as my lifelong partner. It was my family. This was a person I fully intended to spend eternity with. Apparently, she saw me as a meal ticket with a steady income. The elders saw me as someone that was unreasonable for wanting my marriage to be successful. By the way, I did try to steer her to help with her alcohol problem, but these ignorant, pompous fools subverted that. I’m no expert in the matter, but I knew enough to know that getting an alcoholic to accept help took time and required skill, patience and tact. These elders were way out of their depth and should have stuck to what they were good at; which was mostly menial labor.

The elder that made my life hell and menaced me with threats of disfellowshipping, continued to be prominently used, giving parts at District Conventions. I tried to clear the air with him, some years later, and he shook hands with me, agreeing to let the past be forgotten and to move forward, anew. Literally, seconds later, he launched into a diatribe of self justification about the entire matter, rehashing what he had agreed to leave behind. I walked away. When he died, his funeral was delayed, because so many Kingdom Halls have been sold, it took a month to find one where services could be held for him. I don’t live in the area anymore, but I would have loved to have attended, just to show that I had no reason to feel shame with regard to this man.

This organization has become rotten to its very core.

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Joined: 6 years ago

Re: Too few brothers

#12 Post by Marina » 1 year ago

Hi Chet

Yes there is something perverse and twisted which even when you experience it, you can't fathom. It's like, why would anyone treat another person SO badly? How could someone be SO insensitive.

Glad to hear you have come through this. Hope to be able to share what you've written with a few I know.

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